Be a Dot

What’s Your Calling?

A few years ago, I was having lunch with a colleague. She was talking about trying to find her calling. At one point, I asked her what she thought my calling was. “I don’t know” came first, followed by, “Help people. I think your calling is to help people.”

I hadn’t thought about that kind of question in quite a while, but her answer seemed right. I’ve learned sometimes we need help figuring things out, including what we think about things.

During a different lunch conversation (I really miss having lunch with people!!), my companion asked a powerful question I hadn’t contemplated before: “How did you get to be you?” Okay, that’s both powerful and deep! Powerful because I couldn’t possibly have had an answer ready, and because it showed so much curiosity on her part.

It was profound because it required me to go there, to go beyond surface-level “blah blah blah.” I love going deep and having meaningful, even challenging conversations.

“How did you get to be you?” I fumbled around for a way to even begin to answer, and eventually, some coherent thoughts appeared. I mostly talked about events in my life and the fact that, had they not occurred, I wouldn’t be here. I’m sure I’d be somewhere, just not here.

For example…

When I was a junior in high school, Mr. Pollack, the math department chair, walked up to me, draped his arm across my shoulders, and asked, “Bill, what math class are you taking next year?” Since I was finishing four years of math in three years, I told him I was done. “No, you’re not done,” he said and put me in AP Math. It was there I started learning calculus and began my love affair with computers and programming. Who knows where I’d be without his friendly intervention?

I’ve had so many moments that, had they not occurred or if I hadn’t been open to suggestion, I’d be doing something totally different. Maybe even a totally different person.

Connect the Dots

I recently came across a quote from Steve Jobs that explains a lot:

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.

You have to trust in something—your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

The inflection points in my life are the dots Steve Jobs described. I can now see exactly how I got here. I certainly couldn’t see it then. Many of those dots were like Mr. Pollack, someone who noticed something about me that I couldn’t see, and gave me advice, a nudge, or quietly took action on my behalf.

A few years after college, I worked on the Assembly Speaker’s staff in Albany, NY, and looking for my next job. I had promised my boss I would either leave before the legislative session started or stay through the end in July or August. I was interviewing out-of-state, and the timing wasn’t looking great.

In early December, I got a call from Walt Kicinski asking me if I’d be interested in working in the Governor’s office. He described the job, and I told him I was definitely interested. I also told him about my timing situation. I interviewed and was hired. I started the new role three weeks later on the first business day in January.

I hadn’t known Walt, so how did he reach out to me? I had taken an econometrics class at Albany State’s Graduate School of Public Affairs. Eric Markell had previously worked for Walt and got to know me through the course. He told Walt about me, becoming Inflection Point #27 (who keeps count of these things, anyway?). A dot. The econometrics class helped prepare me for my current role. A fantastic job in the Governor’s Office wouldn’t have happened without being noticed by Eric, who talked to Walt, etc.

Lesson: Be A Dot

So what’s the lesson here? I wouldn’t be here without many dots, and I don’t know how many dots are in my future. I have an opportunity to be like Mr. Pollack, Eric Markell, Walt Kicinski, and all the dots that helped me make this journey. I can be a dot, a person who helps others along their journey. I think that’s what my colleague meant when she said my calling is to help people.

What’s your calling? Let me know if I can help!